And I thought that was an eventful weekend?

This has been one interesting week. On Sunday afternoon, I had spent the entire day laying in bed, reading a book, just like I was supposed to do, and got up to go to the bathroom as I had been doing about every 30 minutes, and I wiped and the toilet paper was full of blood. Then, it started coming more heavily. I ran out to the living room where Brad was sound asleep taking a nap and woke him up to tell him I was bleeding. We both ran back to the bathroom where I sat down on the toilet again and it was literally gushing into the toilet so bad that it sounded like I was peeing. I put on 2 pads just in case and we just ran out the door to rush to the hospital which is fortunately only 2 miles from our house. I could tell that the bleeding had already slowed down dramatically and was no longer gushing. We knew that this could happen so we were as prepared for as it as you can be and knew what to do. It definitely helped us both keep a calm/cool head about the blood.

We checked in at the emergency room and finally someone came down with a wheelchair to take me up to L&D. I had called my Dr on the way and she called me while we were still in emergency to find out exactly what was going on and she literally got here 10 minutes after we did. I got into a gown and in bed and when Dr. M got here, she did a speculum exam to take a look inside and cleaned out a lot of of the blood. She said that I'm a good clotter because I was full of clots. I guess that's a good thing if you're going to bleed heavily like that. They then hooked me up to an IV and everyone was preparing us to deliver that night. They even had a NICU nurse come to talk to us about what to expect with an almost 32 weeker. They told us that we had two huge things in our favor - that Lauren is a girl and that we've had the steroid shots. Apparently as a general rule, girls do better than boys do. So, we were very freaked out and I was a basket case, sobbing like crazy. We called our families and told them that we were probably having the baby that night and tried to prepare ourselves mentally which is pretty impossible to do let me tell you. Dr. M came in to do another speculum exam about an hour or so after the first one, and we got the best news we could have ever gotten - the bleeding had completely stopped! So, I was considered stable and we were taking the night to see what happened.

I wasn't allowed to eat anything just in case over night, but because I went the entire night with nothing but some very light spotting so they let me start eating the next morning. I was officially sentenced to STRICT bedrest which means that I'm not allowed out of bed PERIOD. I was given a cathedar which is really not as bad as it sounds because it is very convenient not having to us the bedpan constantly, but I do have the use the dreaded bedpan for you know what - NOT FUN at all and it is really quite humiliating. I also have to have sponge baths in beds and luckily the nurses have figured out a way to wash my hair while laying in bed. I can't tell you how nice it feels to feel clean - I just had a "bed shower" this morning and I feel like a new person. I just have to keep reminding myself that it is all worth it.

So, I've officially been here at the hospital for 5 nights and things have gone relatively well. I did have a second minor bleeding episode on Monday afternoon that was bit scary, but again it stopped very quickly, though it scared both us and Dr. M. Since then, I've had nothing but some brown spotting which is just old blood and nothing to be concerned about.

At this stage of pregnancy, every day is an accomplishment and every week is HUGE. We're praying to make it to at least 34 weeks which is really good. Those babies have a fairly good chance of being able to bottle or breast feed exclusively and she has a really good chance of being able to breath just room air on her own though she may a little bit of oxygen through a canula in her nose. She would likely only need to spend a week or two in the NICU and would hopefully be home in time for Christmas! Babies born earlier say at 32-33 weeks have a hard time "nippling" all their feeds (that's the term that the NICU nurse used) because they either haven't developed a strong enough suckling reflex or just get too tired, so they are typically fed with a feeding tube in their mouth or nose (some 34 weekers have this too). They can receive pumped breast milk this way which is great. The nurse said that their NICU is very pro breast feeding which makes me happy. She said that no matter how little breast milk that I can pump, especially at the beginning, will be given to her. She said that they have a very small unit which is also great because the babies get lots of individual attention and it's a much quieter/calmer environment than other large units where she's worked. She said that parents are allowed to go up there 22 hours a day (they only close for one hour in the morning and one hour in the evening. She said that parents can be as involved as they want in caring for their babies, like feeding, bathing, etc. when they get strong and healthy enough. Some very common problems for preemies are apnea and bradys or a's and b's. Apnea is where the baby "forgets" to breath and they are on monitors that will go off if this happens. She said that they just pat the baby when this happens and then they're fine. Bradys (I know that's not the complete word for it) are heart decels. Babies have to go 5 consecutive days without any episodes before they are allowed to go home, along with gaining wait and nippling all their feeds. I've learned so much about preemies!! I just hope that Lauren never has to see the inside of the NICU though if she comes before 35 weeks, she'll automatically go there. At 35 weeks, the NICU staff will be in the OR but they may or may not need to take her.

So, how am I doing? I'm hanging in there. I have good days and bad days. I was extremely emotional on day 3, Wednesday for some reason. I just couldn't stop crying at everything. I still feel pretty emotional and cry easily, but it's getting better. I'm allowed to be emotional though, this is a really hard thing to deal with. My body aches from laying here 24 hours a day, but turning from my side to my back periodically helps. That's my excitement for the day! I've been watching a lot of TV of course and I've hijacked Brad's work laptop and have been spending a lot of time on-line. Brad has been spending a lot of time up here and his parents are in town for Thanksgiving so they've all come to hang out with me. I had a to go plate for my Thanksgiving dinner and it was very yummy! Brad and his dad are working on finishing the nursery up, painting and putting up chair rail. I can't wait to see the pictures! My mom is coming on Wednesday and my Dad will be coming on Friday. It will be nice to see them, especially since Brad is heading back to work part-time next week. I had to cancel my baby shower since it was supposed to be next weekend. I was sad about that, but it's fine - things just didn't work out. Maybe we'll do something in January or something after Lauren arrives. I feel a bit like a ticking time bomb laying here because I know that the bleeding can start for no reason whatsoever which is pretty scary. I just keep waiting for it to happen. We were told that with the next big bleed, they're cutting. I'm also terrified because they have had to remind me (even though I knew this already) that there is a risk of an emergency hysterectomy with a previa if they can't get the bleeding to stop in the OR. What happens after the baby is born is that the uterus immediately clamps down like a fist and detaches the placenta. This normally happens very easily and the placenta just comes out and the contractions help to stop the bleeding. Unfortunately with a previa, the bottom of the uterus is not as efficient at contracting and it makes it more difficult to stop that bleeding. One good thing in our favor is that even though my previa is complete, the majority of my placenta is posterior which means it is growing up the back of my uterus, which is a much better scenario then when the placenta is literally sitting on the bottom of the uterus, or centered over the cervix. It still has a chance to move up while I'm laying here too so again something to hope for. I believe that I'll have another sono on Monday to check things out, though it was still there last Monday and I don't think that it typically moves that quickly but you never know. As Lauren continues to gain weight, my uterus continues to stretch and grow which is a good thing. It's just a waiting game at this point. We could definitely use some extra prayers for a safe and relatively uneventful delivery.

So, that's the update for now. I'll try to keep this updated though there isn't much to talk about when all you do is lay in bed all day!