Oh how times have changed

First, I'll apologize for my rant in my last post. That stuff does bother me, don't get me wrong, but I was having one of those days when EVERYTHING got on my nerves. Just an example of how bad it was, I was riding the elevator down that afternoon and had of course pushed 1 for the bottom floor, and this girl gets on at the floor below me and for some reason felt the need to push 1 again even though it was lit, and yes, that annoyed me! Ah, pregnancy hormones :)!

So, on to the reason for this entry. I was just reflecting on what a drastic turn my outlook has taken. For example, I've started recording A Baby Story everyday and get so excited to watch it! This is a show that you couldn't have paid me enough to watch just a few short months ago - way too painful. I went to a baby shower a few weeks ago and it was the first time that I didn't cry on my way home in oh about 3 years and it felt great! I see pregnant women out in public and instead of feeling sad and looking away, I find myself smiling at them. Of course, I do secretly wonder if they had it easy or not, and I do get jealous of the "had it easy" crowd, but trust me this is a huge improvement. When I see a hugely pregnant woman that looks visibly uncomfortable out in this Texas August heat, I actually feel real sympathy for her and believe me when I say that this is a new one! When I see new mothers or couples with tiny babies, I think with great joy about how that will be us soon, not, I wonder if that will ever be us which is a terribly depressing thought for someone who wants nothing more than to be a mother. I think that I will always hold some bitterness and residual pain from our struggle deep inside, but it feels incredible to have such an enormous weight lifted off my shoulders!

Only 3 more days until the BIG U/S!!!!