Today is the day

Today is the big ultrasound day and I'll be quite honest with you - I'm freaking out. I need this to go perfectly! I had a dream last night that we saw 2 beautiful heartbeats, and it was just amazing and wonderful - I hope that dream was a premonition of what's to come! Of course, I really believe that there is just one baby in there based on my lower than average betas, not that I am disappointed at all with one baby! Multiples almost always have sky high numbers. Anyway, back to the dream, I never had those kind of dreams in my previous pregnancy so hopefully it is a good sign :). I still feel fine - no nauseau or anything, just really tired and hungry all the time. I'll update as soon as I can!

In other news, I'm incredibly sad to say that we think it is time to put my sweet Dexter to sleep. He was diagnosed with chronic renal (kidney) failure about 3 years ago and at that time, we were told that he would probably only live 6 months to a year, but he definitely beat the odds, until recently. He has gone downhill very rapidly and even with the treatments that we are giving him, he has become almost skin and bones and is so weak that he can no longer jump - even a foot or so jump is difficult for him and he has fallen many times trying to jump on things and I think he's hurt himself because he is limping now. He is in very bad shape and I know he is suffering and it would be selfish to keep him like this. We were out of town this weekend, and even after a couple days away, I could see that he had gotten even worse. We are leaving for a vacation to Puerto Rico and St. Thomas for a week on Friday and I was planning to board him, but I don't think I can bear to force him to spend what could be his last days in a cage at the vet. This morning, Brad and I talked about it and I just burst into tears because I haven't wanted to face it, but I know that I have to. This is my sweet baby who I've had for 11 years and I will miss him desperately, though I already miss him - he's just not the same Dexter anymore. I'm not sure when I will do this, but it would be too much today - it will have to be this week though.

What a depressing post! I hope and pray that I have good news to share this afternoon!